Day 13 of blog everyday...

Day 13, Monday: Issue a public apology. This can be as funny or as serious or as creative as you want it to be.

I am very aware I've fallen behind in the blog everyday challenge. I've even skipped some. To be honest I've skipped some I can't write. Not at the moment anyway as the topics I'd want to use I don't think I'm ready to nor am I sure I'll ever be ready. I don't want to make a half hearted attempt at using another subject as that doesn't feel real to me.  Maybe one day I'll be able to but not just now.

One of those hard to talk about topics would be an apology. Except I already made it. Years ago I wrote the hardest apology letter I've ever had to write. Have you ever done something so bad you knew there was no apology good enough? Yet you still had to say it? I have and I did. I said my apologies to the people I loved and who would listen. To the one who wouldn't listen I wrote it. I don't think it was, or ever will be accepted, but that's ok.  I've learned that the hardest part is often accepting the apology from, and forgiving yourself. That I think I've done. 


So if you've been given an apology you don't think you can accept remember this. Accepting an apology and forgiving someone is not for them it's for you. Until you forgive people who have wronged you and let it go you'll never be over it. You can hold onto your anger and hatred but the only person truly affected by it is you. So forgive. It doesn't mean you have to forget, or even have any interaction with that person, but it does mean your heart can let it go.

I don't believe the person I apologised to has done this and it makes me sad. They won't know the peace that come come from forgiveness. I do. From both my family and myself and from God. And it feels good.