"Just be yourself it doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else"
"The Middle" by Jimmy Eat World
My favourite quote is from a song by a band I only like two songs by. I sometimes find it ironic that I don't like any of their other music and yet this one line inspired so much in me and still does.
Most of my life I struggled with depression and self esteem issues. I'm thankful to say after a life changing event around 6 years ago I am a very different person. However this quote really speaks back to then.
My issues meant I ALWAYS picked the WRONG men. When I say picked I mean embarrassed myself for. I spent a lot of my youth confusing lust and love and expecting to be treated poorly. It's a cliche that until you love yourself you can't be loved but it's a cliche for a reason.
This song was played at pretty much every club/bar/social gathering I would frequent, so was a pretty big deal in my life. At the height of my issues I listened to it and for the first time really heard it. Being something I wasn't (which I was doing every day) was never going to make me happy. I couldn't rely on other people making me happy either as they would never be able to. Even if I found the perfect man, he would have failed because I expected him too. I expected to be disappointed and let down. At that time I was getting tattooed quite a lot and I decided to have this quote tattooed on my ankle to remind me of what I had realised.
It didn't quite pan out the way and things went a bit more awry for me! However, as is true for most people, hitting rock bottom meant I could build myself back up! I learnt, with a lot of work, to love myself. To be happy and realise I deserved to be happy! This quote really came to my mind a lot during this process, helped by being permanently written on my skin probably! But I finally, finally understood what it meant. I understood it applied to men and to all my other relationships in life.
Being me is what makes my husband love me. Meeting him was the true beginning of a new life for me in relationships. I could be myself, bad and good, and it was more than good enough. It was what I needed. It made me use this view in other relationships too. Sometimes I wasn't working hard enough to understand the people I loved.
I also learnt to view things the other way. If someones best wasn't good enough for me that wasn't their fault but mine. I can choose to feel hurt by other people actions or I can choose to understand them better and realise a lot of the time they don't even know they've hurt me. Some people may be struggling the way I was and by allowing them to be themselves perhaps I can help them realise what I did. Because it's not about love or sex or men or women or relationships, it's about people. Being yourself is the one true way of being happy. Changing yourself, or pretending you're something different, will only bring you heartache.
So be yourself. Love yourself and embrace who you are. If someone else doesn't appreciate it or feel it's enough for them then the truth is they aren't enough for you. Life's too short to pretend and far too short to spend time on people who don't love you for you.
Said tattoo..... filters make my legs look fabulous!
Side note: I beginning to think this challenge is less about blogging and more about my stream of consciousness. If you feel I'm waffling I apologise! I'm trying to be very honest to help me find my voice and I hope by not editing my posts I can. Being honest in this sort of forum is very new for me!
Very nice post. Being yourself is very import. Be true to yourself is another one I've always like.
ReplyDeleteOozing Out My Ears, Quote Challenge
Thanks! That's another of my favourites too :-)
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